Saturday, April 30, 2016

First year as a Momma

With Mother's day next week, I would like to write some things about my first year as a Momma. 
Olivia Reagan made me a mom on June 10th last year.. Looking back, it was honestly the most magical, sweetest, life-changing day of my life. So much so, that every time one of my friends has a baby I go back and read Liv's birth story and re-live all the great memories. And, yes, I tear up every time! I am pregnant again with another sweet baby and I cannot wait for that day to come again..The day we get to bring a new precious little life into the world. (Just thinking about it makes my heart warm!) 
My own wonderful Mom was able to be here for Olivia's birth and it was so special. This moment is one that will always be one of my favorites.. When Liv was placed on my chest my mom came over and told me how proud of me she was. It was one of the most sincere and special moments between us that I will never forget. I'm so happy that she was able to be there and be a part of this moment for me to look back on. 
Those first few days I was so in awe that I had just done what I did..After 8 and a half months of growing in my belly, then
36 hours of labor and 30 minutes of pushing..  I brought a real life human being into the world.. fresh from heaven! I didn't sleep at all after she was born because I was so sure I was in a dream.. and I couldn't stop looking at her.  

 She was just so tiny and sweet I couldn't get enough of her.. she was real and perfect and what I had waited for for so long! 
Even a couple of months later I was just still so in love and honestly I didn't think this was what being a mom was like.. She was a realatively easy baby at this point. (Also, I had my mom here to help with things so it was really a dream)  
And since then? 
Honestly, it's has it's ups and downs but I now know what it feels like to love with every part of you. 
Having Olivia has made me see a different side of my husband and love him in a different, deeper way. I have an immense appreciation for my own mom, who loved us so much and did all she could for us to have such a good life. And I bet there will be a lot of those realizations to come. 
Being Olivia's mom is honestly so amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. 
We are so excited to have another baby in our home too.. Although I cannot imagine how I can split my love between two babies!! Haha! Other moms say it is possible.. So I will just have to see.. All I can imagine is my heart exploding with too much love!! 
This past year has been a year of learning and growing.. I've learned to rely on people more and trust my own instincts, which was not easy at first. 

To my Mom, 
Thank you for being there for all my phone calls of distress and excitement. Thank you for being a great mom and Gramma! I don't know how you did all that you did for us..but I will spend my life trying to live up to what you did and continue to do for us. 

To all my Mom friends, 
Thank you for all the times you have been there for me when I've had my not-so-confident times as a mom. Thank you for showing me what good, loving moms look like. I love you and I am so glad we are friends. 

To My Spencer, 
 Thank you for loving me, marrying me and making me a mom, basically giving me all that I have ever wanted and dreamed. You are such a great daddy to Olivia and she knows it and loves you so much. I am happy I have a good man to be a shining example of the kind of man that our daughters deserve. 

To My Olivia, 
Thank you for being my sweet sweet baby and making me a mommy! I love you more than words can say! I promise to always make you feel loved and safe! You have a special spirit about you and I know you will bless so many people's lives like you have mine and daddy's.

I look forward to all the new feelings, growth and love that will come with this next year of motherhood and adding a new baby to our family! I am so proud to be a Mommy and wouldn't change it for anything. 

Happy Mother's day to all you amazing moms who go about your days with your babies (small and big) showing them all your love and sacrificing so much of your time and energy for your families. Your efforts don't go unnoticed. 

"No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child."

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