I plan, Heavenly Father laughs

(preface: I have had some hypertension issues and come close to having preeclampsia since around week 31..I was put on blood pressure medicine, had to do four 24 hour urine collections, blood tests, and endured a whole lot of anxiety. Every appointment I've gone to my Dr has wanted to send me to a specialist or to the hospital. So it's been a little bit of a rocky road.)

 So I made the mistake of planning out when I thought the baby would come and when my mom should come and a few other things.. 

Monday September 26th I got a call that my latest urine collection came back 227 over the amount of proteins that is too much protein.. (300 is over what they like to see. so 527 was.. scary) 

I had Spencer meet me there after work and we met with Dr. Huish. 

He said that everything was creeping up and making him worry. He wanted to have me induced that next week because the baby would be 37 weeks and that's as far as he'd comfortably like to go for both of our safety. So I was a little shocked but also not.. Leading up to this meeting he was getting more and more concerned, he was just waiting for the baby to get to a good place developmentally. 

Dr. Huish set up an appointment for us to go down to the hospital Thursday October 6th at 3 am! Whoa! I do have 3 appointments before then.. so we'll see what happens! 

And Mom is coming into town October 4th now!! 

Planning.. you'd think I'd know not to do that anymore!! Hahah!! 

Lincoln's Profile at 21 weeks 

New things...

It's been a while.. but there is a good excuse..

We are expecting a baby boy!! October 26th is my due date but there has been some concerns with my blood pressure so we are most likely going to deliver sooner.. Which means meeting him sooner! 

I had been feeling very unprepared and nervous about this baby and being ready.. but just this last week I have been feeling a lot better about everything! We just had a baby shower yesterday to celebrate him and now I do really feel prepared with the clothes and things I'll need for the first little bit. 

Also, we got my mom an airplane ticket to come out here and that shut down a lot of stress that I was feeling. She is such a huge help and I miss her! Liv misses her too and I know that having her here will help Olivia transition into being a big sister and not having all the attention.. haha! Hopefully! 

There are some things I still need to do.. 

-I like to get stocked up on some things before I have a baby, toilet paper, toothpaste, body wash, paper plates.. general things like that so I wont have to go to the store or randomly be out of it all of a sudden. 

-I'm going to make some freezer meals to have on hand.. I found a pin on pinterest that has details for each recipe and all of the recipes are ones that we like! So I want to get those done this next week too! 

- I also like to have things clean and not cluttery.. I've had some help with that and it feels so good! Just a few more areas to de-clutter.. Then I'll be good!
We are so excited and cannot wait to meet this little guy!!

First year as a Momma

With Mother's day next week, I would like to write some things about my first year as a Momma. 

Olivia Reagan made me a mom on June 10th last year.. Looking back, it was honestly the most magical, sweetest, life-changing day of my life. So much so, that every time one of my friends has a baby I go back and read Liv's birth story and re-live all the great memories. And, yes, I tear up every time! I am pregnant again with another sweet baby and I cannot wait for that day to come again..The day we get to bring a new precious little life into the world. (Just thinking about it makes my heart warm!) 

My own wonderful Mom was able to be here for Olivia's birth and it was so special. This moment is one that will always be one of my favorites.. When Liv was placed on my chest my mom came over and told me how proud of me she was. It was one of the most sincere and special moments between us that I will never forget. I'm so happy that she was able to be there and be a part of this moment for me to look back on. 

Those first few days I was so in awe that I had just done what I did..After 8 and a half months of growing in my belly, then

36 hours of labor and 30 minutes of pushing..  I brought a real life human being into the world.. fresh from heaven! I didn't sleep at all after she was born because I was so sure I was in a dream.. and I couldn't stop looking at her.  

 She was just so tiny and sweet I couldn't get enough of her.. she was real and perfect and what I had waited for for so long! 

Even a couple of months later I was just still so in love and honestly I didn't think this was what being a mom was like.. She was a realatively easy baby at this point. (Also, I had my mom here to help with things so it was really a dream)  

And since then? 

Honestly, it's has it's ups and downs but I now know what it feels like to love with every part of you. 

Having Olivia has made me see a different side of my husband and love him in a different, deeper way. I have an immense appreciation for my own mom, who loved us so much and did all she could for us to have such a good life. And I bet there will be a lot of those realizations to come. 

Being Olivia's mom is honestly so amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

We are so excited to have another baby in our home too.. Although I cannot imagine how I can split my love between two babies!! Haha! Other moms say it is possible.. So I will just have to see.. All I can imagine is my heart exploding with too much love!! 

This past year has been a year of learning and growing.. I've learned to rely on people more and trust my own instincts, which was not easy at first. 

.. 

To my Mom, 

Thank you for being there for all my phone calls of distress and excitement. Thank you for being a great mom and Gramma! I don't know how you did all that you did for us..but I will spend my life trying to live up to what you did and continue to do for us. 

To all my Mom friends, 

Thank you for all the times you have been there for me when I've had my not-so-confident times as a mom. Thank you for showing me what good, loving moms look like. I love you and I am so glad we are friends. 

To My Spencer, 

 Thank you for loving me, marrying me and making me a mom, basically giving me all that I have ever wanted and dreamed. You are such a great daddy to Olivia and she knows it and loves you so much. I am happy I have a good man to be a shining example of the kind of man that our daughters deserve. 

To My Olivia, 

Thank you for being my sweet sweet baby and making me a mommy! I love you more than words can say! I promise to always make you feel loved and safe! You have a special spirit about you and I know you will bless so many people's lives like you have mine and daddy's.

I look forward to all the new feelings, growth and love that will come with this next year of motherhood and adding a new baby to our family! I am so proud to be a Mommy and wouldn't change it for anything. 

Happy Mother's day to all you amazing moms who go about your days with your babies (small and big) showing them all your love and sacrificing so much of your time and energy for your families. Your efforts don't go unnoticed. 

"No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child."

"Behold thy Mother"

Elder Holland General Conference October 2015

We are all just walking each other home

We had Stake Conference yesterday and the talks that I did hear were amazing! I also had a good time while walking the halls with Olivia when she couldn't keep calm in the meeting. Towards the end I made my way to the small foyer by the offices and there was a lady sitting there by herself. I asked if we would totally be ruining her experience and she said not at all. So we sat down. She asked me how old Olivia was and said some things that were just what I needed....

Lady: "She looks like she is a sweet baby.. my first one was a trip and a half!" 

Me: "Oh?" 

Lady: "Yeah, it was not what I imagined motherhood to be like.. I was constantly questioning my decision to have a baby. And wondering if I should even have anymore kids!" 

Me: "Really? I thought I was the only one! I feel so inadequate sometimes as a mother.. I find myself asking that same question." 

Lady:"Oh dear, don't worry about anything.. if you are asking that question then you are ok. There is no wrong or right way. I had my second baby and he was the sweetest baby. I'm pretty sure that Heavenly Father did that for me so I would want to have more babies!" 

Now, I'm not saying Olivia is a bad or hard baby but sometimes I feel like I am doing it all wrong or like I'm not going to be a good enough mom for her. Then I meet a sweet lady in the church foyer and she reminds me that I'm not the only one that has or will ever feel this way. 

One of the talks, a leader read a letter from his daughter who is serving a mission. She wrote that a lady that worked for a facility that houses handicapped adults couldn't come to church on Sundays because she always worked. They talked to her and she was going to try everything she could to get to church. The next Sunday the doors to the chapel opened and the lady was coming in and behind her was a long line of people following her. They were a bunch of the handicapped people from her work. She got them to come to church with her so she could come. They all came and sat next to the missionaries for sacrament. The last song was "I am A Child of God" and she teared up thinking about these amazing people that got to come to church that day because of this one lady. She wrote "We are all just walking each other home." I love that and will never forget that about any situation I am in. 

Once again, I am reminded that Heavenly Father is looking out for us and placing people in our paths to help us remember. 

2016!!

Well, all of a sudden it's 2016..

Spencer and I have the cool opportunity to have our wedding Anniversary on January 4th so we get to set goals for the new year and then set goals for the next year as a couple right after! 

It's really cool! 

This year we are starting something new.. we are picking out a family motto for the year. 

The one we have thought about and chosen for this year is: 

Happiness in Family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of 

faith,

prayer,

repentance,

 forgiveness

 respect,

love,

 compassion,

work,

 and wholesome recreational activities. 

An excerpt from "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"

Some more of our (less personal) goals are:

    -Simplify

    -Attend the Temple at least once a month together 

    -Have Family Home Evenings every week

    -Be better at budgeting and dealing with money

-Do more activities together as a family

    -Serve and love more

   

We are so excited to see what comes this next year and face it as a Forever Family! 

Happy New Years!!! 

2015

2015 was so good to us! 

We had a beautiful, healthy baby girl

We got to go to New York and visit my family. 

Our relationship grew as a couple and family

and some other small things.. bought a new fridge, learned a lot about myself, stretched myself out of my comfort zone several times for callings, family and friends. 

All in all it was a wonderful year. We were blessed so much and learned so much! 

Here are some pics from this year that make me happy and warm inside.